I heard that a fellow I used to be friends with was found dead in his apartment last week. It looks like a drug overdose, most likely fentanyl. He was a casual recreational user, and not prone to depression that we know of. He was alone for days before found.

Hug your loved ones. Tell your friends you appreciate them.

And, folks, please test your drugs if you’re going to do them. Please. Even cocaine can have a touch of fentanyl, and a touch is enough to kill within minutes. If you’re not going to test your drugs, don’t do them alone. Ever. It’s not worth it. Please.

Much love.


4 thoughts on “Loss

  • Platypus

    This post and Avory’s response is the first post I read when I was screwing around and checking out your site. This, more than anything else made me want to take the time to get to know Elli better.

    I was raised in an incredibly conservative christian family. And even now, decades later, my core beliefs remain the same, though most of the tradition and “rules” have been left by the roadside of life. You cannot help someone if they do not trust you. You cannot help someone if you are standing on the sidelines. You cannot help someone if your not willing to roll up your sleeves and maybe get a little messy (or wet in the case of Harvey). Love is not something to preach about from a pulpit or during a family dinner. Love is not a feeling. Love is a choice. I can disagree with someone’s decisions and still choose to love them and not judge them. Love is not easy and sometimes the people we love are the ones to hurt us the most.

    Elli, i am sorry for your loss.

    • Thank you so much! Love is messy and requires effort, no matter what the horoscopes say.

      I’m also glad I was able to intrigue you a bit!

  • Avory

    Sympathies, Elli…your advice is much more practical than “just say no.” While I’ve never indulged in my life, I recognize the choices others will make, and always try and be tolerant while urging safest possible use, including making sure there are trusted others around. It’s really the best we can hope for.

    A wise man once told me it is a human condition to seek a high; I’m fortunate, I can achieve nirvana by watching my favorite team win a game, or by sitting on a beach at sunset or listening to music that moves me. (And of course, there’s you, Elli…)

    If we care for those close to us, we must be careful about being too judgmental about what path they choose, lest they not allow us to accompany them, making it unlikely we’ll be there when we are really needed. I say it’s better to swallow criticism and simply urge caution; I’d rather have momentary pain than a permanent one.

    • You say it so much more eloquently than I. 🙂

      I have always chosen the straighter and narrower path when it comes to drug use. That said, in high school I was often the “spotter” for friends while they tripped on mushrooms or acid. I found it amusing in my own way. Most house parties I’ve ever attended have involved some drug use of some kind. Not by the group, but by at least one individual there, during the party. These are people I care about, and value in my life. So yeah, there’s no judgement from me. You do you. I’ll do me. And we shall meet at the pub after work and talk about it.

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