Me, the Reluctant Pornstar

You might have noticed the new title to my LiveJournal. Truth is, I’ve been submitting it to a few LJ link sites, and they always ask for a title. Well, “Elli’s Diary” seemed to lack a little… punch. But I didn’t pull the phrase out of my hat in a marketing fever.

Now and then, throughout the course of my site’s life, people have referred to me as a “pornstar.” I am fully aware of the content of my site and what I do for a living, but still, the label “pornstar” seems to rankle.

I don’t *feel* like a pornstar. I never set out to *be* a pornstar. I’ve stuck to my own values and preferences quite steadily over the past 7 years, actually. I don’t sleep around with other guys (other than a couple brief experiments with swinging that didn’t even make it onto my site). And I don’t appear in professional hardcore porn productions. I don’t aspire to appear in Playboy. I don’t ask popular male stars to join me on my site. Overall, my site is pretty vanilla. It’s mostly just me, being me. I love to tease and I have a streak of exhibitionism that gets to shine now and then. So it keeps me happy. In my mind, I am simply a woman who has a site. I don’t want to be a “star”. I don’t want to break into acting. I’m just exploring and having fun and sharing.

“Exhibitionist”, sure. “Amateur webgirl”, yep. “Oversexed naked woman”, you betcha. But “pornstar?”

73 thoughts on “Me, the Reluctant Pornstar

  • Anonymous

    Not a pornstar.

    The difference between porn and erotica is lighting. You have emotion in your photos and videos, other than lust, and you don’t look like you’re mentally rolling your eyes or waiting for it to be over so you can go to lunch.

    There is an air of eroticism in your work. A sense of seduction. There is a bit of lust, but it’s more than someone using you or you using them to get off.

  • Anonymous

    reluctant pornstar

    WOW!!.it’s amazing Elli,from the first moment I ever saw yoiu i felt that way,you are to real,and too…just…real to be a plastic barbiedoll porn star,and although i’ve only been a member of your site for a short time that is Just the feeling I get from you,you are you,and you are right,of course ,undeniably you are still the Hottest thing on the internet

  • Anonymous

    Grouse mountain also has the BCMC trail to the left of the grind – easy to find well marked and travelled it is a switch backy – stairs and hills walk through the forest along side the grind that ends you up just to the left of the gondola – I especially enjoy dinners at altitudes during the evening overlooking vancouver..

    Seymour has short hikes at the upper parking lot to “Dinky” Peak which is a great viewing area or even Dog Mountain – again definitely worth the short jaunt from the parking lot – snow shoed at this time of year or with light hikers or even sneakers summertime.

    I am a big fan of the Howesound brewing company in Squamish proper – there is the pub and the restuarant with the view of the chief at sunset… if you climb or boulder squamish is some of the best rock in North America, as well as the hikes paths etc throughout the mountains there…

    As well you have the para-gliding in Squamish and White water rafting in Bracken-dale up the Elaho Valley – another breath taking valley close to Vancouver.

    On the other side there is Manning Park – with hikes galore – the heather trail is an alpine jaunt for 2-3 days of light packing across ranges creeks medows and camping beside lakes – I hike this each year and I am always amazed.

    Well there you have it… if they were to head south across the border I would suggest a drop into the Outlet Mall shopping areas… but that is another story… 🙂

    a ferry ride to langdale and a car drive to Davis Bay for a sunset is also a fair open water adventure – as it is still only pay one way – free to come back.

    My 2 bits…


  • Anonymous

    safe …

    Agree with the idea, it is safe “sex “.. and you make a decent honest living too but do be careful due to some crazy people out there

  • Anonymous

    Pornstar? Nahhh!

    Hi Elli, I have to agree with you on you ‘not’ being a pornstar. A ‘star’ yes! I am sure that you were plucked from the heavens and put upon this earth to spread your wholesome vision to give us mere mortals the chance to see what one of the goddesses from mount olympus must have looked like!

    I don’t see you as a pornstar. In fact when I first say that link, I shook my head and hoped that you weren’t into that end of the business.

    And thankfully, you are just a very beautiful person who has found an outlet for her kink! And I know I speak for others when I say thank you for doing so!

    Olde Doc

  • Anonymous

    Jack Blue Redux

    Wrap your ears around this youtube selection: 1977 Eagles with Joe Walsh and “Turn to Stone”. Excellent audio off the soundboard, decent video loop. Might motivate you to do something fun.

    Kelly, Dallas

  • Anonymous


    Try “America” from Motorhead. Iron Fist, I think. Or pull lyrics on…clean site, tons of generally accurate content.

  • Anonymous

    Jack Blue

    I saw that you were a Steve Earle fan on one of the blog sites. Has the Great White North been exposed to Chris Knight. Fine new talent; good Austin sound and great writing. Check out “Jack Blue” on the latest.–Kelly, Dallas

  • Anonymous

    Re:”Me, the Reluctant Pornstar”…

    Howdy Elli:Came To Your Site For Your Startling Natural Beauty And The Sheer Amount Of Personality You Manage To Inject Into Each Thrilling Photograph Of You…
    Stayed And Read For Your On Target Brilliant Take On The world At Large…
    Why Not Settle For Generous World Class Beauty That Likes To Share The Wealth!!!
    Cheer For Sharing Your Unique Gifts With Ue Here In The Digital Spirit Realm…
    Your Fellow Member:Joel.A.Fairchild…
    Have A Great Mother’s Day Eve!!!
    Peace Out…

  • Oversexed? I don’t know (that’s such a strange term to me… what over?).

    Pornstar? Maybe. I don’t really think so (though what you do might be defined as pornography). I don’t see you (and I’ve bought memberships to the site) making sex a commodity, a thing separate, in and of itself; lacking in context.

    I like your stuff. I like the sense of a real person behind which comes to me (most especially from your flickr account, the non-sexual stuff is really nice). I don’t get the sense that all there is for you to share is sex.

    And that, I think, is how I define porn-star, all I can associate with them is sex, and that sex merely for sex’ sake.


  • Anonymous

    Nice Tits

    Yah! I am tits guy. You have a nice set. Show more titty shots will you…huh, huh, huh?????


  • Anonymous

    i’m cowboy2002 from flickr

    sweetie your not a porn you’re a love star in my book , spreading it to the world and I appreciate it. Thanks

  • Anonymous

    I definitely would not think of you as a porn star. Definitely a star though. First, you are a star of this site, and though I don’t know you at all, quite likely many peoples lives whether you realize it or not. I have no idea what your like in person, sometimes it’s nice to pop onto your site, not so much to see one of the sexiest women on the web, but to check our your smile.

    Now on the porn side of things. I would not identify your site as “porn”. Erotic or erotica maybe is a better description. The content of your site, though some of it is very sexual, some of you pics could be the calendar girl variety. The preview pics with little or no nudity are just as erotic as those with you completly nude. The pics you take are the kind of pics many couples would enjoy taking of their playmate, just a very much higher quality. Your the girl everyone wishes lived next door.

    Also, I would not think of you as an amateur. The quality of your work and as you mentioned, you do this as a living makes you a professional. And take a step back at your work here, it is very highly professional from the way you present yourself and your site is created.

    I think Exhibitionist Elli, or “Elli, the Girl you wished lived next door” are really more descriptive of you.

    Anyways. Just a Saturday morning thought.

    Keep up the amazing work.

  • Anonymous

    I remember when .. .. ..

    Way back before all this when I first came across your pics on the newsgroups and wondered who this beautiful woman could be.

    You have this sweet sensual style that just draws people to you.

    I just wanted to thank you for all the great content you’ve put out there over the years.

    I wish I knew you but I know just seeing you is enough.

    Youre a fine woman.

    Daniel in NJ

  • Anonymous


    I have followed you for years. Loved your modeling techniques in your sets.I can now understand the distinction you are making. Too bad many want to categorize in broad definitions.

    BILL aka Smile51

  • I like what I see here. both images and words. I hope you don’t mind that I friended you. I am an erratic poster but when I do, it is usually about writing or culture.

  • Anonymous

    Well, I made a book with you in mind, thought I’d let you know THe protagonist is what I imagined you’d be like if you were a little more spiteful and a lot more tease. Took 6 years to write. So thanks for the inspiration.

    • Re: Well, I made a book with you in mind, thought I’d let you know

      Wow, I’m impressed! I can’t imagine myself being more of a tease, though 🙂

  • Anonymous


    I do not think you fit the bill for porn.
    For the star part, you are one since you have so many admirer.
    Web exhibitionist is the my prefer name.

    Where the heck is the other more horny stuf you say you did?
    I did not search, maybe it just because I do not log
    Was those made before you had your own site or it is on the site?

    You realy represent girl next door to me, with a little exiting side.


  • Anonymous

    You’d be less reluctant if you made more money I wager.

  • Re: From a dirty old man

    Thank you very much for the high esteem and your compliments! I’m glad you’re enjoying my site. 🙂

    I do need to clarify a few things, though.

    I have done hardcore shoots before, but always with my (at the time) boyfriend.
    I have had orgasms on camera (both stills and video) many times.
    I have inserted quite a plethora of things into my naughty places, and enjoyed most of them thoroughly.


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