Me, the Reluctant Pornstar

You might have noticed the new title to my LiveJournal. Truth is, I’ve been submitting it to a few LJ link sites, and they always ask for a title. Well, “Elli’s Diary” seemed to lack a little… punch. But I didn’t pull the phrase out of my hat in a marketing fever.

Now and then, throughout the course of my site’s life, people have referred to me as a “pornstar.” I am fully aware of the content of my site and what I do for a living, but still, the label “pornstar” seems to rankle.

I don’t *feel* like a pornstar. I never set out to *be* a pornstar. I’ve stuck to my own values and preferences quite steadily over the past 7 years, actually. I don’t sleep around with other guys (other than a couple brief experiments with swinging that didn’t even make it onto my site). And I don’t appear in professional hardcore porn productions. I don’t aspire to appear in Playboy. I don’t ask popular male stars to join me on my site. Overall, my site is pretty vanilla. It’s mostly just me, being me. I love to tease and I have a streak of exhibitionism that gets to shine now and then. So it keeps me happy. In my mind, I am simply a woman who has a site. I don’t want to be a “star”. I don’t want to break into acting. I’m just exploring and having fun and sharing.

“Exhibitionist”, sure. “Amateur webgirl”, yep. “Oversexed naked woman”, you betcha. But “pornstar?”

73 thoughts on “Me, the Reluctant Pornstar

  • Anonymous

    From a dirty old man

    You are not a pornstar. Here’s why.
    You or your boyfriend work the camera.
    You have complete control over your web site.
    Your site is free of popups and does not link to trashy sites.
    You don’t do real or fake orgasms while on camera. Orgasms are rightly reserved for your boyfriend.
    There are no pics of you with a male, or with anything inserted into a private place.

    Historically, the main problem with being a sex worker was the working conditions in the sex business, and the ugly men who ran it. Well, the web plus digital cameras have brought about a sea change. I think that many women would gladly expose themselves, if they could do so without risking violence, disease, fraud, and ridicule–look at

    Men have to constantly prove themselves, to strive and achieve.
    A young woman merely has to let men see her naked to attain awesome emotional power over other human beings, and you women know that. The angry bitter feminists hate this, but 20th century feminism is dying fast. A woman’s sexual power is a valid way for her to reach out to others, just like her intelligence and creativity. Sites like yours, Seska’s, Furry Girl’s, and CandyPoses are still the exception, but I predict they have a great future. I would like to see quality amateur erotica drive industrial porn out of business.

    Elli, I discovered you thanks to a link on Furry Girl’s page. The more I see of you, the more I appreciate that you are real. I note your nature photography, and take it we should see you as another example of Canada’s fine wildlife 🙂 I suspect you got into the erotica business, figuring you could cash in on the auburn hair and large knockers Mother Nature handed you (I prize the former but not the latter). But you’ve gone well beyond that by now.

    I am married and in my 50s, and do not live in North America.

  • Anonymous

    Prn star—Nope


    You appear to be just an intelligent sexually liberated young wman who knows what she wants. You are a shing star in a world of dark angels.

  • Anonymous

    Pearl in the open ocean more likely

    If you ever get to seek pearls in the deep, you may get a sense of just how rare a find they can be. A bit like finding or happening across your site on the web (which can be just as big). A precious find. See my comments on Amateur Empire via your front page link. Try “pearl of the web”.

    Happy birthday by the way… must e-mail you about that, an interesting coincidence.

    Kindly, Steve H (Oz)

    • Re: Pearl in the open ocean more likely

      WOw, thank you! I couldn’t find the comment on AE, but I’ll keep looking. Sometimes comments or reviews are screened and take forever to show up.

  • Pornstar.

    You have helped me through a lot of tough times since i found your sight and i just want to say thanks.

    • Re: Pornstar.

      Wow! Well I’m glad I could help! 🙂

      • Re: Pornstar.

        I will be joining your sight again but i would like to know why i can,t contact you on stumble,if i said anything to offend you,i,m sorry.

        • Re: Pornstar.

          You didn’t offend me at all! I’m just behind in my emails a bit, and since I have so many places that I get email from, I get behind easily. I get messages from Myspace, Yahoo, Yahoo 360, my blog, StumbleUpon, forums, NewbieNudes, Flickr, and of course my email addy. It can be a bit overwhelming some days.

  • add?

    Hi Elli. I need to punch up my f-list. May I add you?

  • On another site I’m on the woman said she’s not a pornstar b/c she’s not under contract to a video company and she doesn’t even do contract work. So she doesn’t consider herself a pornstar.
    Makes sense to me. 🙂

  • Anonymous

    Glad you’re not reluctant

    I’m glad you’re not doing what you’re doing reluctantly. My membership stuff is in the mail, and I’d feel guilty looking if I didn’t think you were enjoying it.

  • Everybody knows your a star Elli!

  • Anonymous

    You are definitely not a pornstar, More like the girl next door, my best friend’s sister, the girl who used to baby sit me. In other words, a living fantasy girl.

    • Anonymous

      i love you ,and i am making love with in my dreams

      • Aww, thank you 🙂 I think 🙂

        • Anonymous

          Just figured I’d say…

          You’re the best looking young lady on the internet, Elli. Your images are always tastefully attractive, and I quite often have a hard time logging off of your site.

          You’re quite beautiful, don’t ever let anybody tell ya’ different. 🙂

          -Lone Carolinian

  • RE: The Reluctant Pornstar

    You surprisingly look a lot like someone I used to date who actually lives in the same area. If you are she, then congrats, and all the best, and if not, then it is a pleasure to talk to you, and admire a beautiful woman such as yourself.

    I’m from Vancouver myself, and find it to be one of the most beautiful places on earth. I’ve lived in the States at various points in my life, and served overseas, and I can honestly say I have never seen a more beautiful “Classic” person before.

    congrats, and I really admire the site. you are a beautiful woman, and should be proud of all you have accomplished. I look forward to seeing your updates!

    M.A. – Kerrsil

    • Re: The Reluctant Pornstar

      WOw, thank you! No, I think all my previous boyfriends know about my site by now. 🙂

      You made me blush, thank you 🙂

  • Anonymous


    elli, i thing you are a great person and i like your pics and i hope that i can see more of you! you are beatyfull

  • Anonymous

    make a link…

    Might be an idea to make the text on the front page (Elli, the reluctant pornstar) into a link to (so in a few months someone will understand, as I now do!)… UKguy

  • Anonymous

    I Always Philosophise.

    The word poronography according to was less degrading than I thought, but thanks to journalism there is a lot of negative association with the word. Pornstar does not exist, in I remember when Playboy Bunnies were the thing. Pets, and Playmates. They never carried a negative connotation, except with maybe women’s libbers.

    A pity today we have no replacement term for the *erotic webgirl”.

    If an actress for the Waltons can be a Playmate with impunity than so should elligirl be an erotic webgirl with impunity. It’s the Ae of the Internet. Of course top secret govt installations, and such cannot subject themselves to public ridicule.

    One thing I envy elligirl for being able to do, Congrats.

    P.S, Not a member of a secret govt. installation!

    • Re: I Always Philosophise.

      Erotic webgirl.. I like that a lot! I don’t know if I’ll be a “girl” for much longer, though…

      • Anonymous

        Re: I Always Philosophise.

        The best I can think of is “quality erotica”. In swinger parlence this would be swedish. Oh so popular! Now if promiscuious sex can become culturaly acceptable here in America like in Europe.

        • Re: I Always Philosophise.

          Promiscuous sex isn’t acceptable? Not from what I’ve seen… have you seen a teen movie or a rap video lately? 🙂

  • Anonymous


    Why is everryone in porn a”star”? Its not that way in mainstream films.
    “Adult film actor/asctress” maybe?

  • You Are A Bright Star

    “Star” fits you well, you are a Star in my sky at the very least.
    Pornstar though? No, I would not call you that. You have far too much class for that.
    I like the new format here by the way Lovely Goddess.

  • Anonymous

    Your a girl??????



    • Why you rude little Torn! 🙂

      • Anonymous

        fun fun

        I like the Reluctant deal of it all

        fits you like saran and tape and and errr hey QUIT THAT AZUREEE!!





        Nice title I aprove 3 Jav’s up 😉 *!c

  • “neekid chick extrodinarie?”

    Redhead of doom?

  • Anonymous

    One of my dearest friends likes to call me a pornstar. Makes me laugh because she means it as a sweet compliment. But I do not identify with the term either.

    – Seska

  • I’ve watched your site for some time, but never once did the term “pornstar” cross my mind. Closest I think would be “Amused Exhibitionist”. I say do what you feel happiest with El, and we’ll back you all the way.


    QX – Buster out.

  • Elli,
    You’re not a porn star because your breasts are real.

    • Anonymous

      reluctant pornstar

      I don’t think of you as a pornstar, they are way to fake with fake boobs and attitudes, like lipstick lesbians. You are much more down to earth, I think of you as a “perky breasted Canadian princess” By the way, is available, or if you wanted more international appeal, the shorter and less specific is available as well. It’s something to think about at least…

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